When We Are Afraid We Don't Listen

Most of us have heard the expression “I am running around like a chicken with its head cut off.” Well, we do that when we are stressed, fearful and panicked.  Now we are often stressed because we experience fear... Fear of failing a course in college, fear of being cut from the workforce, fear of what will happen if we can't pay all our bills, to name a few. We are so absorbed with terrifying possibilities that we can't focus, especially not on another person. If we can't hear that other person, how are we going to listen? And if we don't listen, how will we live in relationship?

“Being listened to is so close to being loved that most people don't know the difference.”  (David Augsburger ... in Right Listening by Mark Brady Ph.D.)

I agree. Being heard is better than therapy, equal to love, and gives a sense of peace and safety. So if we are not able to listen, it promotes the opposite of love. It promotes a lack of safety and brings turmoil. When we make decisions out of fear they may sometimes be harmful to ourselves and to others. We make them because we have lost our sense of safety, peace.  and of being loved. We are drawn into a void of churning emotions. Someone so emotional can't listen.

Exercise for this week:

Make it a goal to notice    1. How often your mind wanders when you listen to someone.

2.     How many seconds or minutes do you actually manage to listen at a given time.

3.     Relax in a quiet atmosphere and bring up/envision a conversation you had with someone today/this week and observe that conversation. What was said? Did you listen? What all was going on?

4. Meditation: breathe deeply and then repeat "In Christ (God) I am safe"
    repeat this mantra until you feel more at peace.


© 2012 Angelika Mitchell