PEACE.....Trust

This Christmas, as all the ones before, we celebrated the coming of the Christ and with it the hope of peace in this world.

If one was cynical one could ask, whose peace? The Republican, the Democratic, the Catholic, Nondenominational, Presbyterian, or maybe the Jewish or Islamic peace?

Peace, is not about whose view or ideology wins and who gives in so that harmony may prevail.

Peace has a very important ingredient. That ingredient is trust.

Whom can we trust? We are all born to parents whom we feel we can trust unconditionally – until the child's trust-bubble is burst by abuse, neglect or maybe even the parent's divorce.

That high haven of trust comes tumbling down at the child's feet. Sections of it may be still intact like remains of a ruin still upholding hope for that one parent or person who protected the child.

As we grow older we learn that there are people we can trust and others who betray that trust. However, if those protective walls have already crumbled early on, the chilly wind of betrayal cuts much deeper into the soul.

God trusted us – sending his son that we might believe him and treat him well. Yet, God also knew the human heart. How do you trust in spite of knowing that there are times you can't trust?

Can we as humans do what God did?

How often have I heard someone yell: “I trusted you.....!!!” with a long silence implying....”but you betrayed that trust.” The person then runs off in anger, in disgust or in tears.

Many of us have become cynical, distrusting and fearful....while we are hiding behind gated communities. We do so, however, illogical that may be because even there we will encounter those we cannot trust. We do background checks which can only reveal the past of someone – never will that reveal their future decisions. We give lie detector tests and psychological tests which provide answers that can vary from day to day and can be manipulated. We stop voting because we don't trust the democratic process. We watch our co-workers to see if (s)he acts strange or does something against the code or company ethics. Yet even company ethics, can it be trusted or does it just serve the institution so they won't be sued?

We engage spies because we do not trust the government of other countries. We hire investigators to dig up dirt on ex-spouses, on future politicians or anyone rising up a public ladder. These are all actions which will erode our trust even further.

Trust is a fickle thing and yet so essential in the functioning of a society, organization or family.

Lack of Trust will crumble any society or community.

WHAT if we have been trusting in the wrong thing all this time, the perfect human?

However, there is no such a thing.

One thing we can trust is that we all are imperfect, that we all make mistakes.

We also can trust that we all need to be loved and we all need to give care and love to someone, to something. We all have been given the ability of empathy and compassion, some more so than others – however, all do have the ability.

How can a world function if there is only imperfection and people's need for love? It could not were it not for a Higher Power guiding us, a power some of us call God. We can trust God to protect us and to guide us in this maze of a world. Within this guidance we find the ability and willingness to become empathic and compassionate. Why would we want to be compassionate, even if some do not believe in a Higher Power? This is, because we too need other's compassion when we stumble.

Instead of private prisons and more prisons, why not save money and ask the person who made the mistake to rectify it? The thief should repay what he took, the one who created damage have it fixed. Maybe when we change our mindset from the “Criminal” to “the human who made a mistake,” we might be able to mend the torn fabric of our society.

Jesus told us: “Judge not – and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven.” (Luke 6:37) from King James Version.

There is nothing more important than those teachings, if we want to repair trust and learn to truly love as Jesus loved us in our imperfection.

We attempt to negotiate peace treaties with a heavy gnawing of distrust at the very hearts which should exude that hope, peace and trust which they search. We may be quite surprised that these treaties fail. Yet is it a wonder? Deep down in our own heart trust has crumbled from betrayal a long time ago. In our current society those crumbled walls have continued to crumble because there are so few people who show or teach empathy or compassion. It is hard to find those who are worthy of trust.

What is trust? Trust, if you truly reflect on its quality is safety, being able to lean on someone, a group, or family. Trust is being able to rely on someone while being allowed to remain who you truly are and still be loved.

I know this is a tall order. In its perfection only God is capable of carrying that out. Yet, we humans can come close, if we exercise and practice empathy and compassion. This must be practiced not only in thought and word but also in deed and commitment to each other.

In a world of empathy and compassion where we can learn to trust again, we may be able to avert many things that ail us now. Crimes and terrorism may decline if there is someone listening to a person's or group's plight and is truly inclined to help. For that matter being able and willing to hear each other is where trust must start.

I am also aware that there are atrocities that happened in our history which are hard to mend. This brings to the forefront questions that are hard to answer. How do we mend murder? We cannot resurrect the dead. How do we mend the holocaust and other irreparable damage? We can't!

We can choose to approach these happenings from a different view-point.

First we can choose to weave these experiences into our human historic fabric and let its tears, which are glistening like diamonds, fill in the gaps. When we then take a look at this fabric we will have patterns of glistening diamonds spread throughout our fabric filling in its holes. Kenji Miyazawa once said: 'We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey.” Maybe we can weave it as a pathway of diamond-light into our fabric, a path that may just lead us to peace.

We must acknowledge that there are unspeakable things that happened and learn from that history so that it will not be repeated. We also must be alert and aware of the symptoms that led to these atrocities so we can prevent them in the future. Equally important is that we examine ourselves each day, in our thoughts, words and actions. We need to ask ourselves: “When is remaining silent harmful?” When is speaking up harmful?” We must also realize that if we silently accept what others ask of us especially if it is harming a whole people, we come in agreement with our perpetrator.

Secondly, we must embrace forgiveness. This is the hardest thing to do. There must be a time when we ask God to help us let go and give us the peace of forgiveness. By not forgiving we are chained to our perpetrator, to the darkness of the past event. We must forgive so that we ourselves can become free. With peace of forgiveness a strange thing happens, we start to be able to trust again.




 I am  aware that it is hard to live a life of self examination, it is especially hard in a convenience driven society.....yet we must change for our own sake

The effects of artificial light on humans and other creatures.

THE INSIDIOUSLY NEGATIVE IMPACT OF OUR CONVENIENCE DRIVEN, BOTTOM-LINE- 

POWER HUNGRY LIFESTYLE

We humans take pride in lighting up the night. Glamorous cities are glowing with neon lights. We can see some of them from many miles away. We have conquered the darkness. As with everything artificial, it has consequences. I like us to look at artificial lighting from the angles of convenience, the bottom-line and our need for power. Indeed it gives us a sense of power to conquer the night, the darkness, and the sinister things lurking there. The bottom-line of course weaves itself through the power plants who supply the lighting, as well as the stores, restaurants and hotels which can stay open late to make money due to the lighting. Yes, it is  most convenient to go to places at any time of the day or study or work late into the night for various reasons. Have we asked on how this constant artificial lighting effects us and other life forms?

There have been some studies which have started giving us insight. I like to gather some of these insights in this blog entry so that in the end we may ask ourselves questions, such as would we be willing to change at least for our own sake? In a documentary “The City Dark” I heard that our extreme city lighting causes animals to become disoriented. For example thousands of sea turtles who use highland beach as nesting ground, who hedge and then would move toward the sea guided by the star light, instead, get turned around and move toward the city lights and die in the process. The turtles only have a few minutes to get to the ocean before they are dehydrated or get eaten by predators. Many birds encounter similar problems. The lit up cities confuse the birds which navigate by the stars and they end up flying into the canyons of skyscrapers and buildings and millions of them die.¹

However, that alone is not the main problem. We are under the illusion that all these lights are not harmful to humans. There have been findings that the quality and quantity of illumination individuals receive and the time of day is crucial to their well being. Poor artificial lighting (and exposure to light while sleeping) is linked to incidences of stress, poor health and reduced life span.

The upper layers of the skin absorb most of the radiation and visible light they receive, penetrating deep down into the dermis.² An increasing number of studies suggest that artificial light has adverse effects on human health. The light throws off the circadian rhythm. The hormone melatonin which is produced to promote drowsiness and sleep when the sun sets, gets out of balance. Cell division also follows circadian rhythm. Damage to cell division is characteristic of cancer!³ - Do the math!

Sleep deprivation reduces insulin sensitivity. The aggravation of other health issues and social problems are implicated to fluorescent light, such as: Aggression, ALS, Attention Deficit, Autism, Cancer, reduced concentration. Confusion. Diabetes, dermatitis, dizziness, Eczema, Epilepsy, Eye irritation, Fatigue, headaches, hyperactivity, irritability, learning difficulties, Lupus, reduced muscle strength, MS, nausea etc.⁴

Type of Lights5 and their impact Pink fluorescent Day light white fluorescent Full spectrum plastic glazing Natural outdoor daylight

Average lifespan of C3H Mice 7.5 months 8.2 months 15.6 months 16.1 months

This study should make us think on how these lights effect us. This then leads to the next step in expanding our thinking. Rarely do we ask questions on how what we do effects our children.

“Leading Australian researcher Professor Shanta Rajaratnam says there is growing evidence, that the night-time use of portable digital devices is likely to compound the problems associated with artificial lighting.'We think that the advent of electric lighting has significantly impacted our sleep-wake patterns, but with the proliferation of electronic devices that emit light, we are expecting that these problems will increase' said Professor Rajaratnam from Monash University's school of Psychology and Psychiatry. A recent study in the United States showed that devices such as laptops, smart phones and tablets emit approximately 30 to 50 lux, about half the illumination of an ordinary room light...........this level of emission, 30 to 50 lux, is sufficient over a week or so to delay the timing of the circadian clock as well as suppress the production of the hormone melatonin.”⁶

How many hours does your child spend with those devises, particularly in the evening? Professor Rajaratnam recommends that these devices should be shut down two hours or at least one hour before bedtime. Now that we have gone from bigger devices to hand held devices we have taken these lights to bed, a place for rest. Of course it is convenient to have these devises right on hand, on the night stand and just about anywhere we go. It is also a matter of power to have information at our finger tips. However, with this life style we may also pay dearly, more than we are ready to give. The same is with TV. Some people fall asleep with TV's on in a recliner, one of the worst unhealthy scenarios. No wonder, individuals are sleep deprived. Our thoughts should then progress outward to the community. Schools may also rethink in asking their students to complete their work online. Students may work late due to homework on these devices something that may need to change.

We have ignorantly embraced something that has harmful consequences, but if we continue after studies show us what effects there are, than we ourselves are at fault if we and our children are in ill health. Furthermore, if companies fight researchers on this subject just to support the bottom line and make as much money as possible, then they have a criminal mind and do not have the benefit of our children in their mind. Too many companies have sponsored so-called researches in other areas which contradicted honest researches which uncovered uncomfortable truth. This must not happen here. Our young people need their sleep and their health and it is our responsibility to protect them. Convenience, power games and the bottom-line must never be involved when it comes to our children and youth.

Whether it is the light in appliances or our buildings we have neglected several important questions:

“What do we lose if we lose the night”?⁷

“If a civilization could not see the stars and the universe, would they come to believe they are more important because that is all they see?”⁸ (a harmful self importance!)

“Does the lack of contact with the night sky do something to us that is very subtle.”⁹

“Is a lack of watching the stars chewing away our sense of childlike wonderment?”¹⁰

“Is our lack of connectedness to the starry sky building an ignorant civilization?

After all, each civilization up to now build a science of things they needed to understand around the night sky. If we lose the decoding of the universe above, will we close the door that keeps the character of human kind intact?”¹¹

Are convenience, power and the bottom-line really worth it in the long run?

Sources:

1“The City Dark” documentary (available on Netflix)

2ec.europa.eu/health .../artificial light/.../index.htm

3Www.lumec.com

4http://www.hese-project.org/hese-uk/en/issues/cfl.php

5http://www.hese-project.org/hese-uk/en/issues/cfl.php

6http://www.abc.net.au/news/2013-07-01/artificial-light-leading-to-increase-in-sleep-disorders/4790448

7“The City Dark” documentary (see Netflix)

8“The City Dark” documentary (see Netflix)

9“The City Dark” documentary (see Netflix)

10“The City Dark” documentary (see Netflix)

11“The City Dark” documentary (see Netflix)

Declawing – why should this be a problem?

I am starting a new series called:

THE INSIDIOUSLY NEGATIVE IMPACT OF OUR CONVENIENCE DRIVEN, BOTTOMLINE- 

POWER HUNGRY LIFESTYLE

Declawing – why should this be a problem?

Our need to control our environment shows itself even in the smallest things, such a pets.

I saw “The Paw Project” *1, a documentary on the declawing of cats, small ones but also large cats in Zoos or Circuses.

A compassionate veterinarian explained, that it is very cruel to cats to declaw them, because we basically cut off their toes. Envision someone coming along and cutting your fingers off at the top joint. It can cause crippling effects and is very painful. The animals may get infections, arthritis, their claws may regrow now under the skin causing pain and since their defense mechanism was taken their behavior may also change.

Why are we engaging in this practice?

We solely declaw cats because we don't want them to tear up our furniture. We want the cat – but we don't like the qualities genetically unique to a cat. Although domestic cats are bred to co-habitate, others are forced to live in environments for which they were not bred. Even those domestic breeds cannot be fully adapted to our environments, fulfill our needs of comfort and maybe even desires of being loved. No matter what the benefits to us, we are mutilating these animals for our own selfish reasons. We want something cuddly, furry to play with but don't like these creatures to defend themselves or be naturally what they were meant to be.

We devalue God's creation.

We do many silly things for convenience's sake and then we make up reasons which sound quite plausible in order to defend our practices. In this case we claim that the cats would all end up in shelters if they were not declawed. However, this could not be further from the truth. In reality there are now more cats in shelters because of biting and erratic behaviors.

Vets, on the other hand, declaw cats because they are taught in school that this is a viable practice and it makes good and fast money. A vet can make $ 75,000 a year just declawing cats.

While some of the Veterinarians tried to get a ban on declawing, others, and mostly those who call the shots in national organizations are working on maintaining this practice under pretext that the cats will be able to live in a home. In the end it comes to a battle between their voices and who can shout louder and give more eloquent speeches, wins.

We seem to care little about the suffering of these animals, but it's all about what we as humans want and the benefits we expect from having these animals.

I suppose that is “normal” for a selfish, superficial, convenience driven society......but it is sad.

God’s creation deserves our respect, not abuse.

*1 "The Paw Project" is a documentary available on Netflix.

Delusions about Age

We live currently in a society in which we have started writing people 55 and up off. Somehow we live under the delusion that young, and young looking is better than the other. How we got there would probably be a book. But I rather want to focus on what will be needed to change this trend so that the older population who is obviously suffering from this development will find justice and acceptance.

How does this trend show itself?


a) Many companies are letting people go just a couple of years before retirement,
    and there is no legal protection in place

b) In the difficulties in which people over 55 have finding a new job

c) We encourage and sometimes urge people over 60 to start living in
    assistant living places, and if they have health problems we put them in nursing
    homes.

d) Every day we find advertisements on TV for certain drugs and the brain washing that
    at a certain age people have to expect certain health problems.
    (What we expect we manifest!)

e) Some people of 60 and up are sometimes so brain washed and conditioned they
    check themselves into assistant living places.

f) Ageism: we think wrinkles, grey hair and chronological age makes someone "old".
  They start receiving AARP cards with age 50.

g) Ushers in churches will lead anyone with grey hair to the 80 year olds Bible study group

i) We find insights and wisdom a nuisance and interference (often a sign of corruption)

j) We are under the impression that people have to retire at a certain age.
   (Some people at age 90 still climb mountains, run a business or ride camels.)


There is a lot we have to revamp if we want justice for the older generation:


a) There need to be more and better work opportunities for people 50 and up.

b) Put laws in place so that companies cannot fire or lay people off in the last 3 years before retirement.

c) Create incentives for families to take care of their parents at home.

d) Support people of 50 and up in starting their own businesses.

e) Offer re-education so that this age group can make exciting life and job/business changes and stay active.

f) Give the opportunity to make healthy choices, outlaw healthcare monopoly.

g) Nursing home reform - they are ghastly places!

h) Outlaw chemical restraints in nursing homes.

i)  More oversight for nursing home administrators, their medical directors and D.O.N's.



In order to help the older population there needs to be a societal shift.

We train people from childhood on to become stable, to know what they want and to aim for one job or career. Anyone who jumps between jobs is suspect. We like people who are faithful and don't change much- just enough to accommodate company changes.

However, as a result that societal training and outlook will eventually gel into rigidity by an older age. If a person is rigid, however, we condemn them later for it and their unwillingness to try and learn new things. Well, we told them all their lives that its honorable to know what you want and  to stick with one job or career.  What else can we expect?

The internet has brought some change to that outlook. As society is changing, we must help the older population in their learning of new things and embrace change - so that they have a chance. Currently, there is to much wisdom potential wasted.
 One is only as old as one feels, no matter if wrinkles or grey hair grace one's face.
If one has a dream, one never grows old.
 Sometimes people forty or even younger who suffer from depression or despair have grown old.
Being old is relative and is more of an attitude.
 It has little to do with chronological age.

We must rethink on how we see the older population! 

Daycare – the Churche's mission?

The other day I was reminded that a church cannot minister to the homeless and those who look rough to us  because of a daycare on the churche's property. The parents fear the homeless and having been a mother myself I took long and being careful to expose my children to the less fortunate. They can be scary to a small child.

Yet, there is another thought. Did Jesus ask us to create day-cares? Did Jesus ask us to minister to the orphans, the poor and less fortunate? We are told in the Bible to teach our children. That, however, does not translate into daycare for me. Most church day-cares are extra income. In most cases they do not add much to the count of the congregation and are pretty much a separate entity. Now, the children may hear more Bible stories. Rarely, or only a few of these parents go to the church services from what I have been told. (This may not be true for all denominations)

If our impact is so minimal, is having a daycare really what a church should be aiming for?

Should we rather aim to serve the less fortunate – those who have no one and are struggling fiercely? Isn't that what Jesus did – he, a rabbi, hung out with the less fortunate and the worst of sinners? (Not that the poor are the worst sinners- they may be our saints). I believe we could teach the parents and children by ministering to the less fortunate in a controlled church setting more than we can through a daycare. The church could set an example to her people on how to respond to the less fortunate not by giving in to societal demands the parents will of course bring with them, but by teaching parents and members a compassionate response in spite of society's norm and demands.

In this case the children wouldn't only hear Bible stories – they would get to act them out.

Children would also learn to face their fears with the support of the whole church.

And the financial side? If we use daycare as a side business, I am sure there are other side-businesses we can engage in which minister at the same time. I could imagine things like an adult-daycare, regular flea markets, if the church has land, renting out small garden plots so city people can grow food, renting the facility to small start-up-churches....the possibilities are limitless as long as the congregation is creative and not stuck in a rut.

FORGOTTEN WISDOM

“To listen deeply is an act of love.” St. Benedict.

In these last several decades we humans who are wired to love but also to listen move through this world as if we were deaf. All the tools of listening have been declared obsolete in the way we live – a way opposite to ancient wisdom.

The ears, our most recognized tool for listening are bombarded with endless noise and information. Rarely do we have the opportunity to let in that which nourishes the soul. Whispers of nature, words of joy or on the other hand a neighbors plea, a cry of need are barely heard unless those who cry out resort to drastic measures. We have come to shun silence. Silence is the womb which teaches us to hear and understand all life in which we are interwoven. Hardly anyone listens to and discerns the voices and whistling of the winds, the slapping of the waves, the songs of birds.

We have lost the knowledge of listening with our eyes (sic) – the discerning glance that interprets the smallest lining of a cloud by which we once could tell weather patterns, the fleeting grimace of pain on a face, the way the trees lean or the birds fly – they all have a message – yet we have forgotten their interpretation.

We have forgotten the knowledge on how to listen with our hands. Most of the time we fear or despise touch – yet the hand's energy merges with its surroundings – telling stories about a tense body, reading the events of the surrounding ether. Hands read and listen to textures, forms, densities, moisture or dryness and movement and sometimes things unexplained.

At some time we could listen with our whole body. We leaned against a tree and we heard and saw the connection of all life – the history of an area may have been revealed to our minds.

Laying on the earth, humans became one with it, noticing the slightest imbalance and shutter.

Laying in the boat the ancients could listen to the waves, currents and their forebodings – a knowledge mostly lost.

And then there is the heart. Our diminishing compassion has closed so many hearts. Yet only through a compassionate heart can we listen for the pain, the needs, the hope and the dreams of our brothers and sisters whether two- or four-legged. Open hearts can listen deeply into other's lives. If our hearts could learn to truly listen again, I believe, we could long prevent the so prevalent suicides and shootings.

What closed most of our listening devices?

FEAR!

Fear of hearing things we don't want to hear.

Fear of uncertainty, for the things beyond the rational cannot always be touched or proven.

Fear of seeing things we don't want to see.

Fear of discomfort.

Fear of touch -lest it be too intimate.

Fear of being vulnerable – who wants to appear weak?

Yet, fear is the opposite of love – and only genuine love opens our listening tools.

Love opens our heart in empathic and compassionate care.

Love gains insight through its caring touch.

Love' s eyes discern the smallest whisperings of nature, a sigh, or painful facial expression

Love hears without judgement all that's said and unsaid.

Love embraces all, the proven and the unproven.

This is the mark of wisdom – knowledge of ancients.

We think we do not need it and it's obsolete.

Yet, without it we cannot function.

We cannot survive without listening with all our being.

Without it we walk in darkness.

Adult Mistakes against Young People

Often we are shocked by the violent actions of some of our young people. Rarely do we understand that these young people have been raised by our society, its values and mindset. The question then becomes “What values are we teaching our young?” Many times we teach our children and youth things we don't intend to teach them. We tell them to do one thing but will model something else.

Schools which are supposed to be children and youth appropriate and friendly are who we depend upon instead of actively being involved. For example we expect children to be quiet at a certain time, as it was at a school assembly where football players which shared an anti drug message and inspired the youth to cheer and be loud. Yet, not even a minute after the Principle asked the students to be quiet and make no sound in order to be dismissed. Unreasonable? Yes! Not only was it impossible to achieve, the messages were mixed leading to chaotic behavioral outbursts by random students.

Expectations for children and youth to be kind and compassionate and have great manners, is countered when we expose them to Ayn Rand books which promote selfishness and a ruthless ego. In her novels she describes that compassion and forgiveness are a weakness or even “a sin.” I have noticed through my work as a substitute teacher, several times that we want one thing but teach another. Movies in classrooms with derogatory language, that are approved and shown by the teachers, do not promote communication with respect. Not enough teachers expect enough from their students, yet, they are surprised why they have what they then often call “bad classes”. Those who have high standards, have well performing classrooms, they fulfill a calling not just a job. I have observed parents who meet these same standards. Parents who inspire, teachers who inspire versus those who perform on a “basement” level. I have seen parents reprimand children for bad language but they are using that same language toward their child.

When my son started high school there was a parent meeting at which the Principle spoke to us. At the end he said: “Not all will go to college, for that matter quite a few of the girls will end up pregnant and some won't graduate.” I was appalled. He set already expectations of failure for his new students. We teach our children that certain people have more value than others. We do so by making sure that rich schools have all the bells and whistles and the poor schools barely have art education or computers. If there was true equality, we would not teach our children inferiority of others by ignoring the homeless person on the side of the road, the families who have less, the mentally challenged and handicapped or school on the other side of the track. Our very societal makeup teaches children things we should not teach them by ignoring or pretending not to see what we ourselves fear, or that which interferes with the perfect ideal of what WE want life to look like or be.

We have become a complacent society letting the government be the good and bad guy. Since the government has been cracking down on child abuse, which it should of course, things have been happening which are harmful to children and youth. It's not their cracking down that is harmful, but it is the way they go about it. First, the programs are not sufficiently funded and the case workers are overworked. There is more broken than just that. Removing children from a household should only happen in absolutely very severe cases. Workers who have no life experiences, no reality of family structuring, no basis for teaching boundaries or coping skills are sometimes in those jobs, things which are actually part of the Family Services Department's mandate. Other countries have case workers which come into the families and teach these things to the parents enabling them to raise their children. We move in and destroy families. Personally I have witnessed a family destroyed when a 14 year old rebellious boy called DHS because his father slapped him. The children went into foster care. Now one of the girls who was at that time nine years old is into drugs; her family was destroyed and her safety splintered. Intervention with counseling and coping skills classes would have prevented the ending results in this and many other cases. I say this because I have heard of several such incidents. Ministers and Counselors are required by law to report suspected child abuse. However, we are given a terrible choice where either way the family may well be destroyed. As a country we put youths in foster care for one or another reason, then kick them out on their 18^th birthday. Some of them end up at a homeless shelter, most are under educated and are offered no expectations for betterment, becoming part of the “throw away” society created in part by DHS. They are ridiculed in school when other children find out they are foster program residents. They are overlooked by the teachers for the same reasons. I got this information from a friend who is a case worker. Not only is it mandatory that foster care parents to get rid of their children at age 18, there are many cases in which in regular families a young person is thrown out of their home because they are gay, or cannot get along with his/her parents for some reason. Many such cases exist around certain religious bases. What kind of future will the young people have?

It's hard enough to get a job when people are young, particularly in our economy. Now we are adding the stigma of homelessness because we don't want to be inconvenienced. We act as if raising children was already a burden enough and we don't want to be burdened any further, particularly if the child is not following our personal perception of the “right mold”. We as a society present that it is more often than not that we don't care what happens to our young people. We live in a myth that they are dangerous, yet, we are the ones who put them in impossible situations and then blame them for ending up taking drugs or even in jail. What kind of role models did they have? Should foster parents be required to see them through college or at least some sort of training? The reports from here in Oklahoma of recent, “ as seen on TV”, are that most foster homes are not as safe as the homes they were removed from in the first place. Abuse exists within the system itself and must be repaired.

We expect maturity but do not teach them self control. We will give them everything, if financially possible, they ask for in order to not disappoint a personal view of ourselves. We show them pseudo love. Yet, we hardly ever spend time with our children and youth when that is the most essential gift we can give and all they want. Spending time with someone is an expression of true love. We also hardly touch children anymore. Teachers are warned against touching children, parents do so less and less. We have never asked the question what will this do to our children?  Researcher and author, Dr. Caroline Leaf describes in her book: "Who Switched Off My Brain", some of her findings on the subject.

She describes “Touch literally as 'one of the most essential elements of human development,' a ' critical component of the health and growth of infants' and a ' powerful healing force.' Research shows touch deprivation causes negative change in the brain, laying the patterns for aggression and violence.”¹ 

Is our insistence that we do not touch  anyone, not even a child, because of all the sexual harassment lawsuits
actually backfiring? Are we and our children so deprived that our society is coming apart at its seams, because we have the tendency to throw the baby out with the bathwater? 

Teaching NO,  is also an extremely important part of that love. Youth often don't understand that NO if they have not been taught boundaries by their parents. Signs of lack of interest of parents and lack of boundaries are stealing, destruction of private properties, acting out when told no for doing things they should not do, or in other words “self destructive behavior” become the norm.

We give them sex education in schools so that they know the consequences of having sex. We do not teach abstinence. Instead of teaching young people responsibility and self-control we give them the pill so that sex will be safer, the morning after pill to undo the night before, and condoms to prevent STDs. Yet, that education has not changed the rate of teen pregnancy, the number of unwanted births, of deformities caused by side effects of the morning after pill. What we have been doing by that education and the pill is to condone their behavior. Amongst teens a girl not having sex has become an exception. We don't want the responsibility of doing what we know needs to be done about it, so we give in. On the other hand we look down on teens who are pregnant.

We do not allow for loss or failure. We are merciless when it comes to transgressions in our youth.

There are school systems in the USA which if a student misbehaves they will send that student immediately to jail. Children and youth cannot feel safe, they cannot trust the teachers who are supposed to teach them. If someone does not feel safe, they cannot learn. So first we create an unsafe learning environment, and then we are concerned why so many students are under performing. Most young people are terrified of failing so much so they off set that fear using anger, and outbursts of bad behavior.

We are forced to hunt down gangs, a mob of young people who are engaged in violent actions against society. We never gave them the nurture and time they needed from us as parents when they were growing up. So they had to create their own family, the gang. We expose our children and youth to inappropriate TV programming. We wouldn't let them watch when we are having sex (or so I hope), yet we have no scruples letting them watch it in a TV-show.

Children and Youth seem to learn best in hands-on learning environments. Yet, due to the standardized tests teachers don't have time to do hands-on teaching, they need to get the students to cram all the things in which will most likely be asked on that standardized test. The problem is, some students don't learn that way. Memorizing something they have not experienced is artificial knowledge and will be forgotten very soon. Again, we have set them up for failure.

Universities are not required to help students find jobs or create programs so that students can get the “market experience”. Instead of a promising future that education should give young people, they end up in a hundred thousand dollar nightmare enslaved by debt. There are many Universities who gladly take the money, for profit schools and even not-for-profit schools, but who are quite irresponsible. Our children need a lot of guidance and understanding that they are not getting to take the journey to further their education for free and that all their financial choices in college will haunt them later in life. I tried to enroll in a Master's degree for Education and curriculum development. I found out that this school's courses would not even qualify me to take the exams for school administration in my State. Yet, they gladly will break down how you can pay their monies. Many companies require 3 to 5 years experience in a field and that from University students who cannot possibly have such experience because it is not offered. We force young people between a rock and a hard place and are then surprised if they lash out or become desperate.

Besides all that there are other dangers which make life very unsafe for our children and youth. Particularly those who are homeless, poor and need to fend for themselves are at risk. There is unfortunately on a global scale something called Human Trafficking. Like with so many things we in the United States live such a good life, we don't even want to believe that this exits. Yet, it does.

And some of our children and youth who are not taken care of stand the risk of getting kidnapped into these kind of crime rings. Many girls end up as sex slaves, and boys often end up in forced labor. Human Trafficking is a blooming, hideous industry. The way we are treating our young, may cause many of them to end up there. The next time we blame our children and youth for things that are happening, we do well to look to ourselves and examine the way we treat them and teach them and which unreasonable expectations we have of them. We do well to teach them right from wrong and not expose them to things a young person has no business to be exposed to. By exposing them to unreasonable things we are harming their minds. Images are powerful and will often haunt them.

In order to heal their minds and lives we have to heal our own minds and lives.

Our lack of acknowledging a higher power, a trust in God, I believe has much to do in how we treat the young. The Bible admonishes us to teach our children and to love them and take care of them. It tells the father not to anger his children but also the children to honor father and mother. Yet, many do not learn of this. The result is quite visible. We need to re-evaluate our family life and live it with integrity and teach our young.

Instead of spending hours in front of the TV we must learn to spend time as family, study Scripture and pray as a family.

Instead of seeing youth as dangerous, we must learn to see them as the promised future.

Instead of seeing youth as a burden, we must learn to see them as God's gift and blessing.

Instead of zero-tolerance, we must bless them with mercy.

Instead of showering them with things, we must learn to shower them with our love.

Instead of exploiting the planet, we must learn to care for our resources so that we can leave a legacy not at debt to our children.

Instead of condemning them for their actions, we must learn to forgive them as we must repent and ask for forgiveness.

Instead of worrying about them we must pray for them and ourselves.

Proverbs 4:23 Keep your heart with all diligence for out of it spring the issues of life.

1Dr. Caroline Leaf, Who Switched Off My Brain, (USA: Inprov. Ltd., 2009) 125.